Summary of Play

When the Texas Rangers start to clamp down on cattle rustlers, arch villain Artie Choke and his sidekick Barry Smelly decide they’ll rustle cattle the honest way– by marrying and burying the beautiful vegetarian cattle baroness, Mary Nated. But Texas Ranger, Chuck Roast, has caught Mary’s eye instead. Undaunted, the villain opens a vegetarian restaurant hoping to court Mary’s favors. With the help of his villainous girlfriend, Lily Livered, they send Chuck Roast off to Alaska on a wild goose chase. Alas, she still refuses Artie’s advances, so he kidnaps Mary’s Aunt Ida and threatens to send her entire herd over a cliff! Mary is forced to wed Artie within three days if she wants to save her family & bovine friends! Will Chuck return in time to stop Artie Choke from putting his brand on Mary and save the day?! Wait & see!